How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
