lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
