Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
