dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
