Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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