Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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