If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
