These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
