And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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