As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
