Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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