actually, I'm a sock model
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Watching her eat just hurts me
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
