oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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