Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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