Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
