Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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