Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
