sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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