Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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