Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sorry about my life...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
