Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
