the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
