I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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