I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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