He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
pray to the hookup gods
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
