Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
