A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
