PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
