So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
