when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He kissed a someone with a penis
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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