dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
