well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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