She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We need to get me chipped asap
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
