I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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