I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
