Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
