The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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