never play flip cup with pint glasses
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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