I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
