Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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