remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
