Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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