Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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