we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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