Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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