i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
