So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
