how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
