You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
