Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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