how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize