I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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