he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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