Kiss
Puke
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize