I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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