I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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