but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
