Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
