I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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