Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
