So drunk its hurt
I love black thongs
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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