i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
