She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You had me at "let me see your balls"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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